Regret and Gratitude

The other day I was sitting at a table with recovering addicts, listening to the exchange of life stories and mountains climbed. After hearing one man share about all of the bridges he's burned on his way toward sobriety, he stated emphatically, "... and if I could do it all over, I wouldn't have changed … Continue reading Regret and Gratitude

Conversations In the Mirror

Your best days are in the rearview mirror.  Remember that one time when it was New Year's Eve and you were in the middle of the circle listening to your favorite band with your favorite people and it was snowing and your stomach hurt from laughing so hard at the stolen thunder and you stood … Continue reading Conversations In the Mirror

The Other Side of the Fence

In the woods behind my childhood home, a familiar path led through the trees and over the creek. Around the bend and up the hill, to a wooden fence raised over my head; This boundary created space between the invited and the rejected. On the other side of the fence was a swimming pool, filled … Continue reading The Other Side of the Fence

“…It’s a Cold and Broken, Hallelujah”

The carpet felt more like concrete, as I collapsed beneath the table and erupted into a violent explosion of salty tears and self-hatred. The world I had known was forever changed in the unraveling of my shame, finding a shattered mirror and a fist and a whisper, "wherever you go, there you are." Find me … Continue reading “…It’s a Cold and Broken, Hallelujah”

[S]easonal [A]ffective [D]isorder

there's a few things i'll always remember like the uncomfortable quiet of november and the way happy chases the ever after like a kite without anchor in a natural disaster all contacts deleted like a chorus repeated advice gone unheeded, and the champion defeated there's a few things i'll always remember like the frozen burn … Continue reading [S]easonal [A]ffective [D]isorder

Life and Death

I can still hear the doctor's voice, repeated in my head. "If your biopsy returns with evidence of cancer, you may have anywhere from two to ten years to live."A few days later, I received a voicemail from the doctor's office requesting me to come in for a consultation. I didn't get the message until … Continue reading Life and Death

Lost and Found

Several months ago I began meeting with men who are in recovery from addiction(s). At a local city Rescue Mission, we gather in a circle and talk about hope and faith and brokenness. My own experience with rock bottom has given me a greater platform of authority than my degrees. I have been there. I … Continue reading Lost and Found