i miss the old me.

i feel like i’ve lost my voice
and my pen has lost its fire
and i’m not good at expressing comprehensive thoughts

but i’ve become an expert at staring at walls
and losing myself in the wonder of
august heat
country roads
and ashlyn’s tears

i’ve been attempting to write about the rhythm of birth and live and death
and rebirth and life and death and rebirth and…

but it all comes out like a schizophrenic flood
of nonsensical psycho-pseudo babble
in fragmented sentences
hanging
gerunds and dang
ling participles

i feel like a traveling salesman
distracted by a garage sale
with an armload of seconhands
baffled at their rejection of my personal credit card
spitting on my palms, extending my handshake
pinky swearing that i’m good for the payback

what i’m trying to say is
i miss the old me.

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