gina carlin, my friend

if i had more time
i would tell you that i’m sorry for always never listening
when you reached out for attention and i would ask you
to forgive me for all the ways i frantically dismissed your warnings
(suicide has a way of making everyone feel guilty).
if i had more time
i would tell you that this too will last
and soon the silence of september will be replaced by the ache of december
and the look on leila’s face paints a thousand portraits of regret and what if and
if i had more time
i would tell you that california is a distance unfair
and the bridge is burning beyond all repair
and i believe with all of my heart
that you are safe now, from scissors that cut
and separate and hesitate and desecrate
and if i could i should i would have told you
that love wins and the circle will be unbroken

3 thoughts on “gina carlin, my friend

  1. Just noticed this today..On the 28th of September. Maybe I needed to see her today, to hear how you “knew her” to remember that she did have someone who cared in NC…CA the distant too far. sigh..I miss her all the time. I still regret not saying certain things and not calling her every day the week she was suffering so much. I was too wrapped up in my own pain. But I know she touches my face and says, don't worry.So I try to forgive myself everyday.

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